Sleepless in Arvada

When humans can't sleep, they can read a book, raid the refrigerator, watch reruns of "Law & Order," surf the Internet for stories about celebrity plastic surgery gone bad, or call L.L. Bean to order a new Polar Fleece jacket.

When dogs can't sleep, they pace, pant heavily, and claw their owners' (or "guardians," as the always-PC Boulderites call us) bed.

Hana's insomnia began in late June. The vet attributed it to pre-July 4th fireworks and the violent middle-of-the-night thunderstorms we were having then. She prescribed Valium, which we picked up at the Walgreen's pharmacy under the name of "Hana Dog Gillette." The script was written for six tablets, "which should see you through the holiday," according to Dr. Harris.

The Valium had no effect on Hana. The pacing and panting continued long after the fireworks season and stormy nights had passed.

For a while, Hana slept if Jim or I moved into one of the two single beds in the smallest of our three bedrooms. Hana would wedge herself into the small space between the two beds, or between one of the beds and the wall, and, after some more heavy panting, settle down. We weren't too happy with the Q. Elizabeth/P. Philip sleeping arrangements, but we were exhausted and assumed it wouldn't last long.

It did. And now there's a new twist: After I moved into the tiny bedroom last night when Hana started pacing in our room, Hana followed and proceeded to shuffle around the bed in a continuous U-turn. Because space is tight in that room, sometimes she bumped into the closet doors during her endless journey, interrupting any light doze into which I might have fallen.

Some Internet sites dealing with canine insomnia suggest giving your sleepless dog a lot of exercise during the day to ensure that she sleeps at night. Hana gets two walks a day, and accompanies us on all our mountain adventures. Even after a seven-mile hike (a hike rated "Difficult" in the guide books) near Mount Evans, she was up all night.

What we need for Hana, I said to Jim this morning, is the canine equivalent of a program for Alzheimer's patients recently described in a New York Times article ("All-Night Care for Dementia’s Restless Minds") about the Bronx-based Hebrew Home's ElderServe at Night,

a dusk-to-dawn drop-off program intended to strengthen their decaying minds while sating their thirst to be active after dark.

Participants are fetched from their homes by vans and spend 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. painting, potting plants, dancing and talking — or, for those immobilized by their disease, relaxing amid music, massage and twinkling lights. The patients rest as they need, for a few minutes or a few hours, and return home the next morning fed, showered and, usually, tuckered out.